Transcript:
5 Steps to Greater Self Confidence
by Lee Colley – Only Forwards Coaching
These are 5 steps that I have used to effectively overcome the low self confidence levels I used to suffer from.
In order to improve your self confidence it is first necessary to understand what self confidence is.
According to the dictionary definition self confidence is “a feeling of self assurance arising from an appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.”
So why do you lack self confidence? Well, simply put, it's because you have either lost or never had an appreciation of you own abilities or qualities.
Low self confidence tends to produce fear. The fear 'wins' because you don't understand or have lost the practice of using your abilities and qualities to overcome the fear, because of this lack of appreciation.
So how do you regain the appreciation? Well you can start by following these 5 Steps to Greater Confidence (obviously!!).
Step 1. Focus on what you want in life not what you don't want.
Why would you do that? Well, focussing on what you want makes you look towards positive achievements or goals. Focussing on what you don't want tends to make you look backwards at negative things or events in the past you want to avoid.
The creation of self confidence through an appreciation of your own abilities and qualities is an inherently positive process. Focussing on negative 'don't wants' makes this process difficult or impossible to achieve.
Step 2. Scare yourself!
This is not as drastic as it sounds, trust me!
When you lack self confidence you spend most or all of your time locked in your comfort zone. Most of the things you want to achieve will lie outside of your comfort zone and are therefore not within your reach. It is the fear of what lies outside your comfort zone that holds you back. The only way to stretch the boundaries of the comfort zone is to deal with the fear.
That is why you have to scare yourself. But only a little bit at a time. Which brings me to...
Step 3. Take small steps not giant leaps.
Imagine that you are at the bottom of a mountain and what you desire most in life is at the top of the mountain. You are faced with two choices:
- Climb the mountain one step at a time
- Try to make the summit in one giant leap.
Which do you choose?
The answer is obvious isn't it? Climb the mountain one step at a time.
If you know what you want but don't feel confident enough to achieve it break it down into manageable chunks or steps. Some chunks may be scary but as mentioned before, only a little bit scary. In fact they aren't that scary at all once you look really closely at them.
Think how good you will feel, think how powerful you will feel, when you overcome that one little fear or when you complete that one little challenge.
Pretty soon one beaten fear or one challenge overcome becomes many. Before you know it challenges and fears will be vanquished with such regularity that you'll wonder what all the fuss was about!
Seriously, it's that easy. Then you'll really be appreciating your abilities and qualities. To make sure this step (step 3) truly works for you need....
Step 4. Act immediately.
Once you have mad a decision to do something. DO IT.
If you delay you will find a reason or excuse not to do it. The fears and doubts will build and you will never achieve it.
Step 5. Involve other people.
There is no shame in knowing when to ask for help or wanting to have supportive people around you, be they; family, friends, coaches, mentors, support groups. A supportive network of people around you will help you to fully appreciate your abilities and qualities.
Think back to the mountain analogy used earlier. Is it easier to climb to the top of the mountain on your own or is it easier with a team of supportive people around you? Again the answer is obvious isn't it?
